8 Comments

  1. Hello, I really like your blog posts. I am interested in engaging in discussion on some of these topics, which are topics I think about frequently. I am not a psychotherapist or an academic or anything remotely close to that professionally, and I hope that I don’t come across as overly adversarial in my response and further questions. I am just a depressed and often confused person trying to figure out how people are supposed to be. Ok, so: “Sartre once remarked that man is condemned to freedom, to create himself and his life out of virtually nothing; what we now know is that man is also given the ability to create his own perception of himself, and what can be more liberating?” Is a turn inward, turning more toward the self, really a more powerful way of being? Why consider the self at all? What are the benefits, psychologically, of thinking and creating a perception about one’s self? Is it simply useful as part of psychotherapeutic processes, or as a defense against “self-defeatism,” or are there outward benefits to turning inward? When we talk about self-love and self-acceptance — what is the difference between those two things? Is love a stronger form of acceptance, or something more? Or something else altogether? And then, once we’ve grasped the ability to love and accept ourselves — then what are we supposed to do? Like with the rest of our time?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles, and I’m grateful for your readership and for your thoughtful response.

      The self isn’t a self in the common conception of the innate and unchanging being ruling the body; when I use the concept, I use the term for simplicity’s sake, to describe an ever-changing personality structure that we call the I.

      To answer your other questions:
      A turn inward is necessary to catalyze change, as the problems and their solutions need to be determined and defined.
      There are more benefits to not defining the self at all, but accepting and loving it (you) because you are you.
      The outward benefit is the potential for changing the difficult and unwanted aspects of your life, or at least attempting to do so.
      Self-love is self-acceptance.
      Once you learn to love yourself, you can turn outwardly, using self-love and self-worth as a foundation to love and help others build their own self-values.

      I hope this was helpful. I greatly appreciate your post.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. we need to throw away the self-help books, and realise that the only reason they exist is to perpetuate themselves and make money. ’20 ways to better self esteem’ is just 20 ways to bang a nail into the coffin of never feeling like you’re enough, thus making you feel like you need more self-help books. i hope this post gets widely read – it’s really important (Elle)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comments! The self-help industry is based on the notion that if you can repeat it, you can believe it; a simplistic, and erroneous, perspective of beliefs.

      Like

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