The Consolations of Psychotherapy: Why the Question of “Why Did This Happen to Me?” Doesn’t Make Sense

There is no why to suffering, only a how. How did it affect you? How did it change your outlook, … More

Understanding Shame as the Source of Depression: How Learned Hopefulness Can Backfire

With great power comes great responsibility, the degree of which most of us can’t handle. Kennon Sheldon, one of the … More

The Importance of Choosing Your Values and Why You Often Feel Stuck

Existence precedes essence, and proceeds from it. Choosing one’s own way is the only conceivable purpose of being. Yet, through … More

Your Feelings Don’t Always Matter and That’s a Good Thing

Repeatedly, we’re told that feelings aren’t facts. This usually means that reality doesn’t have to acquiesce to your desires – … More

Obsessed with Suffering and Striving: How Reframing My Depression Eased My Pain

An ancient proverb reads: Enlightenment isn’t wisdom; it’s the feeling of lightness. In it, one sees the contrast between striving … More

My Gift of Trauma: How Childhood Abandonment Shaped Me

If trauma can become a gift, first understanding it is imperative. Left on her own, with no one to look … More

Trapped in Neverland: Why Can’t I Make Decisions?

The passive observer attempts to keep all of his options in front of him. Emphasizing each of his decisions, his … More

Learning How to Listen to and Tolerate Your Negative Feelings

Traumatic childhoods can cause people to attempt to flee their lives by cultivating and pursuing fantasies, or utopic lives, believing … More

The Perfectionist’s Shame: Why the Difference Between Responsibility and Blame Matters

“We don’t want to become what we are. We want to become a concept, a fantasy, what we should be … More

How Your Anxiety Lies to You

Your brain tells you that worrying is fine because it’s better to be safe than sorry, but ruminations aren’t a … More