A perfectionist enters treatment for depression and anxiety. They inform their therapist that nothing ever feels right or meaningful. They … More
Tag: Love
How Our Philosophies of Love Become Barriers to It
“If he loves me, he’ll love me unconditionally.” “If she loves me, she’ll want to become the best version of … More
“If He Wanted to He Would”: Why Our Consolations about Rejection are Usually Unhelpful and Wrong
“If he/she wanted to he/she would” is the most overused and misguided phrase in consolation. By saying it, the person … More
Idealizing Romance: How Our Beliefs about Being Single, Being in Love, and Being Married Contribute to Codependency and Desperation
Interpretations are everything. Being single doesn’t simply mean that you aren’t in a romantic relationship; it often connotes much more. … More
Philosophy in Love: How Philosophy Affects Your Love-Life, Even if You Don’t Know It
Whether you know it or not, philosophy affects all of your relationships and your thoughts about them. We often think … More
As Above, So Below: How Our Friendships Reveal the Ways We See Ourselves
‘As above, so below’ is an adage often attributed to ancient Egyptian philosophy; it means that the micro-universe, our world, … More
Self-Sabotage in Dating: How We Erect the Barriers that Keep Love At Bay
A few years ago, I began a relationship with a girl who seemed interested in dating me, but asked if … More
The Jaws of Certainty: How Our Low Self-Esteem Pushes Love Away
Evidence can be tricky. We often think of science as a purely objective endeavor, supported by the analysis of an … More
Needing to Be Loved: Why It’s Okay to Accept Your Basic Human Necessity
Fear of Being Needy Most of the clients I see struggle with intimacy; they have what are called attachment difficulties. … More
The Power We Give Away: The Importance of Defining Yourself
The World of Dating I was going through a break-up when I was in therapy with Eileen. I told her … More
