“If he loves me, he’ll love me unconditionally.” “If she loves me, she’ll want to become the best version of … More
Tag: Psychology
Why We’re So Defensive and How to Stop
We make significant mistakes when we’re protecting ourselves. Defensiveness, self-aggrandizement, bragging, deflecting, perfectionism; whatever you want to label it, we … More
When Self-Help Turns Toxic: Why We Can’t Always Be Rational
In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, there’s a process labeled cognitive restructuring, wherein beliefs are explored in a systemic manner to confirm … More
Obsessed with Status and Popularity: An Exploration of Cultural Illness
Love only matters to us if we accept it. Like Jay Gatsby, most of us find ourselves in the throes … More
For When You’re Feeling Shame
Shame compounds. Of all of the negative emotions, shame is the worst. Anxiety subsides when we avert a threat. Sadness … More
Being Great Isn’t That Great: The Inevitable Distorted Thinking Involved in Success and High Achievement
Why are we chronically unsatisfied? Someone close to me once told me that she wanted to have everything she wanted … More
A CBT Approach to Understanding and Dealing with Anger
Anger is a threat; anger results from threats; anger is righteous; anger is destructive; anger is defensive; anger is hopeful; … More
Do I Really Have to Love Myself Before I Can Love Others?: Against the Existential Ideal
Balancing what you can accomplish today with what you’ve done in the distant past is a challenging feat. All the … More
In Praise of Mediocrity
“… I keep pushing that rock up the hill over and over and it keeps falling back. And then I … More
Living with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) is often confused with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD is more about rituals, mental or … More
Leon's Existential Cafe 