Cultivating Both/And Thinking in Love: Can You Have Both Passion and Security?

People tend to believe that, at some point, they have to settle. To them, love is either fire and fury, … More

Insecurely Attached in My Relationship: How Picking the Safe Romantic Partner Can Backfire

Intimacy can be avoided in complete darkness or in the blazing light of romance. The avoidant attachment style, marked by … More

The Love-Bomber’s Con: Why Already Believing You’re Special Can Make You His Victim

For a con to work, it’s best for it to have already been accepted before the con-artist entered the room. … More

Taming Perfectionism: Why a Sense of Entitlement is Based on Fear

Have you ever heard of mental filtering? Do you recall any experiences of it? How is the mind able to … More

“If He Wanted to He Would”: Why Our Consolations about Rejection are Usually Unhelpful and Wrong

“If he/she wanted to he/she would” is the most overused and misguided phrase in consolation. By saying it, the person … More

Idealizing Romance: How Our Beliefs About Being Single, Being in Love, and Being Married Contribute to Codependency and Desperation

Interpretations are everything. Being single doesn’t simply mean that you aren’t in a romantic relationship; it often connotes much more. … More

Coping with Rejection: Why Our Minds Weave Plausible, But Hurtful, Narratives

All of us have a natural tendency to personalize. We see the dyad and interpret it through a causal lens. … More

Philosophy in Love: How Philosophy Affects Your Love-Life, Even if You Don’t Know It

Whether you know it or not, philosophy affects all of your relationships and your thoughts about them. We often think … More

If Dating Isn’t Working Out, Maybe You’re Just Self-Absorbed

People’s rigid expectations often make relationships, especially romantic ones, fairly difficult. In dating, there’s often a mismatch between one party, … More

The False Beliefs of the Grass is Greener Syndrome: Why Settling Can Be Good for You

On the episode “Mind and the Matter” of The Twilight Zone, the protagonist, Archibald Beechcrot, a misanthrope, wills humanity’s disappearance. … More